Amy Sander Montanez is a writer, teacher, therapist, retreat leader, and spiritual director who attends Trinity Cathedral, Columbia. She is the winner of the 2007 Polly Bond Award of Excellence for Devotional / Inspirational Writing from Episcopal Communicators.

In the Moment—One Pilgrim's Attempt to Be Present

By Amy Sander Montanez, D. Min.

God’s Reality

If you’ve ever been away on retreat or to a religious weekend, you may know the feeling of being full and deeply energized. When I come home from something like this, it always takes a few days, sometimes weeks, for the integration and assimilation to take place, for all that I’ve experienced to settle in to my body and mind so that I can talk about it and share it.

In August, I went on a retreat with Companions on the Inner Way, an ecumenical group sponsored by Seventh Avenue Presbyterian Church and San Francisco Theological Seminary. The location was at the Zephyr Conference Center in South Lake Tahoe, certainly one of those places we call “God’s Country”. I managed to miss the 108 degree heat here in Columbia and received instead brisk mornings of 45 degrees and afternoons no higher than 85. The lake is indeed emerald green in the shallow areas and a deep indigo at its deepest. There is relatively little development around it, just mountains and white cedars.

Our lead speaker for the week was Mark Yaconelli, truly one of the most gifted presenters I’ve ever experienced. He had us alternately laughing and crying as he so vulnerably shared his spiritual journey and his deep belief that the renewal of the church, and especially of our youth, can only come from a place of deep contemplation. We cannot “program” our way to renewal or entertain and exploit our youth into renewal. Only through a real relationship with God can the church be renewed and remade. Our studies focused on the scriptures that dealt with the kingdom of God and the offerings of God. Mark often translated this into “the reality of God.”

I began to resonate with and am still buzzing with the paraphrase “the reality of God”. What is God’s reality? “Seek ye first the reality of God, and God’s righteousness. And all these things shall be added unto you.”

God’s reality. It’s not a place, and isn’t that helpful? Many people get hung up on the “ kingdom of God” being a place like the heaven of the after life. But God’s reality is right here in the present.

What is God’s reality in my life, today, right now? I know and was reminded anew that God’s reality is not always what meets the eye. God’s reality often lies beneath the surface of things, and might look very different than what our ordinary eyes can see. I may need to slow down, maybe even shut my eyes to tune in to God’s reality. Amidst the confusion and striving of my day, God’s reality may be a few deep breaths away, a few moments of silence and listening away. I cannot always access it if my senses are too attuned to the immediacy of what is going on.

In the midst of what seems like total chaos, God’s reality may be something like “Be still, and know that I am God.” In the center of tragedy or trauma, when we call out “Lord, save me!”, God’s reality might be the immediacy of a sense of support. On a day when surely there is more to do than hours in day, God’s reality may look like “Do not be anxious, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you His reality.”

Very often for me, God’s reality is a remembering (a re-membering) of who I am. I am a part of a community of faith. I am not alone and there are many who can help me if I need it. I am a child of God, beloved and enough, just the way I am. Life is abundant, and there is enough to go around; enough time, enough money, enough love, enough joy, enough support, enough strength, and enough resources. Jesus lived that we might have life, and have it abundantly. These are the realities of the Divine One. This is the kingdom of God, right here, right now, if we just seek it and claim it as the free gift that it is.

Back to Home