Amy Sander Montanez is a writer, teacher, therapist, retreat leader, and spiritual director who attends Trinity Cathedral, Columbia. She is the winner of the 2007 Polly Bond Award of Excellence for Devotional / Inspirational Writing from Episcopal Communicators.
In the Moment—One Pilgrim's Attempt to Be Present
By Amy Sander Montanez, D. Min.
Miracles and life abundant
It seems to me there are many kinds of
miracles. Of course we often think about the miracles of Jesus, the
kind where something amazing happens very quickly, something someone
wanted really badly, like a child being brought back to life, or
eyes being able to see again, or a wedding going off without
embarrassment. Many of us pray for these kinds of miracles. Dear
God, please take away my pain. Please God, heal his body from the
cancer. Jesus, please let there be a job opening for me this month
so that I can earn enough money to pay the bills. We are familiar
with this kind of prayer and this kind of miracle.
In my line of work, I see another kind of miracle more often. It is the kind of miracle that unfolds slowly, sometimes so slowly we might not realize it is happening. Have you seen the images of a flower unfolding on the Nature Channel, time-enhanced so that you can watch it unfolding over a few seconds, even though it actually took a few days? Kind of like that. It is the kind of miracle that we humans co-create with God, by participating with the Divine Presence and by aligning our wills with God’s will. And then, even though it took weeks or months or years, all of a sudden we see the whole picture, and, by golly, we know it is a miracle.
I got to see one of these miracles unfold recently. A college student came to me for anxiety problems and relationship issues. He was pretty much a mess when I began seeing him, but he was willing, eager even, to get his life on a different path. He shared that his father had stopped drinking about six years earlier and that the whole family was in recovery from that. Dad was in A.A., Mom was going to Al-Anon, and here he was, trying to put the pieces together. It was good work, and each session he worked hard to understand the coping skills he had learned as a child, the ways he was sabotaging himself, and what it would take to put himself on the right track. He left therapy for a while and joined an Al-Anon group himself, and that, he reported, was very helpful. I had also suggested that he get an opinion from a psychiatrist about medication, because his anxiety often got the best of him and he made decisions from an anxious place rather than from a centered one.
When he came back to therapy, many more pieces were in place. We began to talk more about his spiritual journey, about the ways he prayed and the ways he was able to let God in to his life. His family life had improved tremendously. He had graduated and was offered a wonderful job in his field, in a city away from home. He was actually excited and ready to leave and try life on his own for a while. All the destructive relationships were over, and he was happy to be single and exploring his own life, no longer feeling desperate to have someone filling the emotional void. His face glowed as he talked about the peace he now had in his life.
“It’s a miracle,” I said, as I watched his heart swell with gratitude for the life he was living. “It is!” he responded. “I never thought I could feel this way. I never thought my life would feel this rich and this full. I never thought my family would be able to sit around the dinner table and have a normal meal and normal conversation. It is a miracle.”
This miracle took six years. And it took a lot of hard work. Everyone in his family took responsibility for his or her own actions and chose to get well. He, at quite a young age, decided to get the help he needed to live differently. He was fortunate to have a good doctor who could help him with effective medicine. He and his parents began to take their journey with God seriously and to let God into the healing process. Everyone began to listen for a Higher Power more earnestly. This is the kind of miracle we “co-create” with God. We have to do our part, and we have to let God do God’s part. And then it can all work.
I believe in both kinds of miracles. I’ve known both kinds in my own life. But it is the second kind of miracle that I see more frequently, and that keeps me believing in the work I do and in the promises God makes to us.
“I have come that you should have Life, and have it abundantly.”
©Copyright Amy Sander Montanez, 2007