Welcome to our newest e~DUSC feature,
a biweekly reflection on the day-to-day by one of our own.
Amy
Sander Montanez is a writer, teacher, therapist, retreat leader, and spiritual
director who attends Trinity Cathedral, Columbia. She is the winner
of the 2007 Polly Bond Award of Excellence for Devotional /
Inspirational Writing from Episcopal Communicators.
In the Moment—One Pilgrim's Attempt to Be Present
By Amy Sander Montanez, D. Min.
Samia's kitchen
I recently moved across town and found myself in need of a new
person to do clothing alterations for me. At a friend’s
recommendation, I went to the home of a delightful Lebanese woman,
Samia. As soon as I walked in her house, the smell of something
recently baked filled me. “It smells great in here,” I said,
breathing it in. “I just made Baklava,” she replied. “I’ll give you
a piece on the way out.” After showing me pictures of her children,
her grandchildren, and her late husband, she ushered me into her
modest kitchen. “Just one” I said, as she opened the canister to
offer me the sweet. It was so rich and so delicious that I opted to
eat it a bite at a time. I had one bite in the car, one after dinner
that night, and the next with my coffee in the morning. I thought of
how my maternal grandmother’s house always smelled of something just
out of the oven.
When I went back a week later to pick up the finished alterations,
again the house smelled of something delicious, but I couldn’t tell
what it was. After trying on my clothing to make sure of the fit,
Samia again offered me some food. “Kibbeh is my grandson’s favorite
food. He got an award at high school yesterday, so I am making him
his favorite dinner. I am so proud of him.” She coached me about how
to eat this egg-sized bundle of ground beef, bulgur, pine nuts, and
some wonderful blend of spices. The flavors were so comforting, and
I oooed and ahhed like I often do when appreciating delicious food
and said, “I sure hope your family appreciates you, Samia.” Her
answer caught me up short. “I don’t even care. I just do it because
I want to.” Her face glowed with pleasure.
Wow. Wanting to be appreciated was my issue, not hers. Wanting to
hear words of affirmation was my need, not hers. Samia was way ahead
of me on this one, just offering total unconditional love to her
family. She was working from the heart, from a place of selfless
offering. She was giving of herself in a way that not only nourished
others but nourished her. Frederick Buechner, that great
Presbyterian theologian and writer says that vocation is that place
where the world’s deep hunger and our deep gladness meet. Perhaps
this is Samia’s vocation, showing strangers and family hospitality,
nourishing their spirits and bodies. Perhaps because she was
offering up the desire of her heart, the seed which God put in her
at her making, she was at a place of total peace and balance.
I still hope Samia’s family appreciates her. If it doesn’t matter to
her, it might matter to them. Having a grateful heart and an
expressive mind is never a bad thing. So thank you, Samia, not only
for the amazing food, but mostly for the chance to learn, again,
that when we live from our own unique hearts, not much else matters.
©Copyright Amy Sander Montanez, 2007