Amy Sander Montanez is a writer, teacher, therapist, retreat leader, and spiritual director who attends Trinity Cathedral, Columbia. She is the winner of the 2007 Polly Bond Award of Excellence for Devotional / Inspirational Writing from Episcopal Communicators.
In the Moment—One Pilgrim's Attempt to Be Present
By Amy Sander Montanez, D. Min.
Holding sacred space #1 (more to come)
It was cold yesterday morning, and I pulled my hood up as I walked along the streets in my neighborhood. I was focused on the silhouettes of the budding dogwoods against the dawn sky, and the newly opened azaleas and bulbs in the yards of so many caught my attention, too. Spring in Columbia is beautiful. I was breathing it in. It was a prayer, this gratitude for God’s created world. I like paying attention to the Holy One like this in the early morning hours. Sometimes I get answers to questions or concerns just by walking and breathing and paying attention. Mostly, though, I just like to rest in the lap of God’s creation.
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© Jill Lang | Dreamstime.com |
Looking ahead, I could see her walking toward me. I know her gate
and her shape, and I crossed the street to say good morning to my
friend. We hadn’t planned on meeting. I know sometimes I don’t want
to be interrupted when I am walking/praying. But she waved and said
hello, turned off her headphones and we started walking side by
side. We’ve met like this before, and our conversations always seem
to be a special time of sharing. Today was no different.
The last time we walked I had been sharing some about a friendship,
some old wounds I had incurred, and the state of their healing. Like
a patient with an open sore, I was reporting the condition of
things. “It’s better, I think. Oozing less, scabbing up pretty
nicely. It doesn’t hurt so much anymore, unless I accidentally bump it
and then, ouch, I sure know it’s not completely healed. But it’s
better, and I am grateful. Most important, I know it will heal. I
believe that. And, "Please, don’t let me whine," I implored. I hate
whining. She assured me that there is a difference between sharing
and whining.
Today she was sharing. I am accustomed to listening as I do it for a
living. It is a gift, and it brings me joy. I was aware immediately
that I was honored by her trust in me and our developing trust in
each other. We had both shared stories that leave us vulnerable, stories that hint at the essence of who and what we are.
At the end of the walk, we hugged and she said, “This is sacred
space. Let’s hold our talks in our hearts.” As I left her on the
corner and headed home, I thought, “This is prayer, another kind of
prayer. Creating sacred space with another, holding another’s heart
in our heart, is prayer.”
This is what God must do. Our hearts are held in the heart of the
Holy One. And in that Heart of Hearts, all the hearts of the world
live together. I can even imagine holding the heart of God in my
heart, as I did this morning on an early walk with a friend. What a
precious and sacred way of praying.
© Amy Sander Montanez