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Amy Sander Montanez is a writer, teacher, therapist, retreat leader, and spiritual director who attends Trinity Cathedral, Columbia. You can access an archive with her award-winning reflections on the diocesan Web site at www.edusc.org/News and learn more about Amy at her Web site, www.amysandermontanez.com.

In the Moment—One Pilgrim's Attempt to Be Present

By Amy Sander Montanez, D. Min.

Just say yes

Years ago I was motivated to start a theatre troupe here in Columbia. It was called “Theatre of Dreams” and was structured after the NYC Theatre of Dreams which I saw perform at the Spoleto Festival in Charleston. Bob Paton, the conceiver and director of the NY troupe agreed to train a local group to be actors in this theatre. Our job involved hearing the nighttime dreams of audience participants and, by using improvisation, acting the dream out as the dreamer watched.

Our first week of training involved predominately acting exercises. A cardinal rule of improv is “just say yes”! When someone starts a motion, movement, or invitation you are to receive it and keep the action going. In other words, if someone hands you a ball, you are to accept it and do something with it. If someone drapes an arm around you, you are to accept it and keep going. If someone calls you Bob, you are to go with that and not stop and say, “Wait, my name isn’t Bob, it’s Susie!” Just say yes, and that keeps the action moving.

Just saying yes, of course, has the potential of taking us out of our comfort zones. I wasn’t planning on going in that direction. You couldn’t mean me accepting that offer, could you? I don’t know how to do that. I am not qualified/certified/trained/educated to do that. Wait, that’s not right, you must have made a big mistake. You’ve got the wrong person.

Several times in my life friends that I love and trust have pulled me out of my comfort zone. One time a friend called me and asked me to perform her wedding ceremony. “ I can’t do that. You need an ordained minister,” to which she quickly responded, “No I don’t. You just need to be a notary and I will pay the $25 for you to become one. I want you to marry us!” The experience was memorable and affirming.

Another time a good friend asked me to do some speaking that I felt was out of my comfort zone. “Are you sure? I’ve never done anything like that before!” I quickly countered. “I wouldn’t be asking you if I wasn’t sure” was the reply. I had a wonderful time and met some amazing people. The Holy One used me in ways I never expected. The day was a grace and a blessing.

Many times in yoga class, an opportunity is given to try something that may be out of our comfort zone. It is so easy for the mind to say, “Oh no, I cannot do that. And not only can I not do it today, I will NEVER be able to do that!” Perhaps that is true, due to injuries or personal structure, and it is certainly prudent to honor our bodies and not push them beyond where they can go. However, if it is possible to just hold a “yes” in your mind, then there is space to try, ways to get the ego out of the way with all of its mighty holds on us and open our bodies and our minds to new possibilities. My body can do things now it couldn’t even imagine a decade ago.

Even writing this column was the result of a good friend offering me this venue. “I’m not sure,” I wavered, excuse after excuse coming out of my mouth. She took all the stumbling blocks out of my way and here I am still writing it and loving it. The first writer’s conference I attended was the result of a nudge and “just saying yes” to that nudge. It was one of the most profound weeks of my life.

After winning the Super Bowl, New Orleans’ Saints quarterback, Drew Brees agreed to do a Dove for Men commercial. His acting debut involves taking a shower and being happy and spontaneous, free enough to sing in the shower. When interviewed about this he said that the experience had pushed him right out of his comfort zone and that he had a great time! Why not? Just say yes!

I am not proposing some kind of co-dependent, addictive style of living in which we do not know our boundaries or our limitations. It is important to know when to say no and why we say no. It is important to understand our underlying motives and intentions and to be conscious of them. I am advocating for something very different, which is the paradoxical edge to proper boundaries and limits. When we are clear about our limits and boundaries, we are free, indeed, to say a holy “Yes!” when we are offered the right opportunity. We are free to try new things in new ways and to trust in the process that the Holy Spirit designs for us. We are free to “just say yes” to God’s nudgings.

The Gospel is full of people who learn to “just say yes” to life. In fact, it may be one of the underlying messages of scripture. Learn how to discern the promptings of the Spirit, listen for the voice of God, and just say yes. Abraham and Sara said yes. Samuel said yes. Mary said yes. Jesus said yes. The disciples said yes. The woman at the healing pool learned to say yes after a life time of no, the disciples put the nets down one more time, the man was willing to be dropped through the roof of a house. I am trying to learn to say more yeses. Will you join me? How are you being called out of your comfort zone? Can you discern where you need to say yes?

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